Dick Venom & the Terrortones, X Ray Cat Trio and Black Moth @ Milo, 28th October 2011

Reeling from the stench of some girl's privates

Tonight I got drunk and went to see Black Moth play at Milo with my good friend "Chris", if that is his real name. The moment we pulled up at the bar the floor was taken by a group of 4, the lead singer dressed as a bloody bride, his waxed up mohawk cradled by dried beans, the bassist wearing flexy shiney black stretch pants and a guitar that seemed to be made out of futuristic dildos, a lankey guitarist painted up like a monochrome scarecrow and a drummer dressed as a normal person. We couldn't have asked for a better way to start the night. I don't know the name of the band, and I don't think I ever will, but they still killed it. The singer was all over the place, leaning into people, sticking his head up girl's crotches.. he was a real pioneer. The chaotic sloppiness of their sound greatly complimented my level of drunkenness, if not heightening it a little. I just checked the internet; the band was called Dick Venom and the Terrortones. Explains a lot… especially the bass guitar.

Boner vision

Me and "Chris" went around the corner and bought some cheap beers, sat and discussed some shit, then proceeded to check out the second band, evidently called X Ray Cat Trio. Their sound was very rockabilly, and when I noticed the guy going wild on a double bass my enthusiasm exploded. Their sound made me want to get up and hoe down, so thats what I did. For some of their songs anyway. I was buzzing at this point so a fast snare drum and jumping bassline was fuckin perfect, along with some semi-serious sideburns. One thing that came to grow on me about the venue was the closeness between the audience and band, we were on exactly the same level, and the space was so cramped that they were literally playing/singing in our faces. They played a cover of a sam barrett song which went down so well, it fit the vibe well, and it was awesome to sing that particular song at the running pace set by the drums and bass. I was busting to piss by the last song, apparently it was amazing and included a ridiculous bass solo but I missed it as I was too busy releasing urine from my bladder.

XRCT et al., 2011

I have to mention, during XRCT’s set a cop van pulled up outside to cart away a crazed shirtless dude who according to a friend is a local to many rock shows here in leeds and is often one to get in insane fights, so to pass the time whilst Black Moth set up I imagined how fucked up I would get were I to pick a fight with him. It was pretty one-sided, and picturing the image of his over-tensed neck tendons, intimidating tattoos and bulging eyeballs kind of scared me into submission from the beginning. It wasn’t that great of a daydream to be honest. Part of the fun of that night was watching him approach girls, first grabbing their asses and then when they turn around simply staring at them with his tongue lolling out. That guy's got serious guts! I bet when he does pull a girl its like WWE wrestling but naked, and with better intro music.

Black Moth came on with that song I've heard them play before which always gets me in the mood; the chorus is so intense, the bass and guitar fall down down down downnn, and her singing catches it delicately and then flings it back down again, deep into the chasm of mothy darkness. Black Moth girl was seductive as usual, and judging by the guys at the front checking her out I'm sure I wasn't the only one who felt this way. I was bummed about the speaker setup though as I couldn't hear her singing very well over the instruments. The solos and riffs were all on point as usual, really dark and menacing. These guys always kill it in the instrumental department, I just fucking wish I could've jumped around as much as in Santiago's a while back...

This is what English girls look like without fake-tan

Despite the distortion of her voice I still got the gist of every song, and they still managed to get me moving a decent amount. All I wanted was to sway around and get people shoving and jumping, maybe feel the refreshing swash of beer down my neck as I bump into the unsuspecting girlfriend of a bystander, but the venue wasn't right for it. The band space was right at the door, so people were constantly passing back and forth, and it was quite a narrow space to move around in. But then again, I was being a bit of a pussy that night so that’s mainly to blame. On the plus side, I did get a nice old tap on the shoulder and a condescending warning not to move around too much so all in all I would consider it a success.

But she's still hot

"Hallow be thy ween"