Sunday, 9 June 2013

King Khan and BBQ show + Bloodcults @ Hidden Agenda, Hong Kong. 6th June 2013.

The theme of today's blog post is dirt.

Dirt. Dirtiness. Filthy, grimy, slimy, dusty, itchy, flakey, leaky intolerable uncleanliness. A state which surrounds us all, a state which the majority of us avoid, a state filled with negativity, looked down upon, feared and detested. I tend to be one of these people who hate dirt, however, over the past couple of years I have begun to realise how necessary it sometimes is to be dirty and how damn good it can feel.

On the day of the King Khan and BBQ show I woke up at around 10.30 with pink-eye, definitely a result of my friend's couch pillows; unwashed and crusty after a years worth of post-skate sweat, sex-sweat, hurrying-back-from-7/11-with-beer-sweat, pocari sweat and so many other sweats I don’t wanna think about. This experience was a more than fitting way to gear me up for the show, I guess it was just meant to be a dirty day.
I made it to Hidden Agenda after skating all day long so my boxers were nice and sodden, my socks slippery and the stinky spot behind my right ear was in full effect. The first band that played were a trio named Bloodcults. They were pretty fun; a messy, poppy and upbeat sound, a real friendship band. The drummer was a big guy, straddling his snare between his thighs and singing jovially into the mic. I liked his facial expressions, they reminded me of the pantomimes I went to as a kid. Mouth opening in strange directions and eyes combusting spontaneously. He sounded pretty homo-erotic at times which was rad, it went well with their music. For a few songs he was subbed in on vocals by the girl on lead guitar. She was kooky. Definitely kooky. She wore a big blue wig and couldnt stop laughing, I don't even remember if she ever said anything funny. Or coherent for that matter. However she did ask the audience for a semen and/or blood donation. I pictured what would result if I were to whip my dick out and start wanking on stage. Blood orgy? Bloodcults organising a blood orgy. That would be crazy. 
Ideas for signs on the door - “Must be HIV negative to enter.” “Free entrance for sufferers of Haemophilia and/or Stigmata”.

Anyway. About their set. The crowd could have been better, I think it was mostly friends-of-the-band at that point and it was generally pretty empty so there wasn't much movement. The best part of their set was the last song, not only was it the best song but the girl bit into a blood pack and started singing with it cascading down her shirt, her words sounding lispy, wet and horrible, screaming BLOODCULTS BLOODCULTS over and over. That was cool.

During the break not much happened. Just sat around and talked to some people.
When King Khan and BBQ came on stage they'd somehow managed to hang up a 6-foot tall golden sun. This was the backdrop to their flabby, sweaty sweat sweat party of a show. Building up to the show I had so much energy that I really needed to let out, I just wasn't sure if their music would bring it out of me. But fuck, it did.
They started the set fast loud and straight to the point. Hardly any introductions; a quick hello, a few strums of their guitars, a bass kick and they were gone. Racing, full-on into the night. It was wild. They finished the first song and went straight into the second; "zombies", which was the first song of theirs I’d ever heard a while back. I couldn't contain myself when that happened. I had to jump up to the front and thrust my arms out to them and yell all the words I knew as loud as I could. As much as it sucks to be that guy who only knows the words to one song, fuck it. After that song, the adrenaline was pumping, people were getting jumpier and the dirt was back. These two metal kids at the front row were flamming their heads hard, one dude mashing an imaginary guitar faster than jesus himself. We all coaxed Khan up towards us with our finger tips whilst he strummed faster and faster and faster.
During one of their chattery interludes we got a glimpse of Khan's gooch which he offered to us as a blessing, as if to simply say, "behold, here is my gooch.". I think it was one of the main non-musical events which opened the crowd up. Soon after, even the most reserved of women were tugging at his cape, making it fly as if he were standing atop a skyscraper. Others began doing the twist and lurkers at the back began taking more time with their beers in feeble attempts to stop themselves from dancing.

I can't forget to mention BBQ though. Watching him sing and play was incredible. I never realised he played the drums and guitar at the same time. And sang! Holy shit. That is nuts! His voice has a powerful presence and he can reach some impressive notes, not to mention his insane facial contortions whilst blowing bellowing Oooos and Aaaahahawaaawaaahss. I'm not sure how deeply they ranged throughout their discography but it didn't matter because all the songs they played were good. They kept me alive by giving me quick breaks of slow swaying singles, the kinds of song which would be great at a stereotypical high-school dance under a disco ball. Unfortunately my high school dance was in a night club and all I remember was giving some guy I didn't like the finger, my friend getting knocked out and then later dropping e, so I swayed by myself, closed my eyes and pictured that idyllic feeling of being a teen-movie teenager.

Despite their lack of sleep we managed to yell them back on for a 3-tier encore which ripped all the remaining energy out of my system and spat it on the beer-soaked stage whilst I got dry fucked by a drunk dude in work clothes. The show fucking kicked ass and I want you to go and see them when they come to your town.