Saturday 22 August 2020

Bakersfield

I skated the skatepark alone. I met a few friendly faces on the concrete, but I left the skatepark the same way I came in.
A homeless man yelled at me as I eyed up the wallride he lay against.
I cut my losses and headed to the bus station. I used Bezan's phone to figure out how much desert lay between me and Santa Fe. A lot.
After much stressing I said Fuck It and paid the hundred bucks for a bus ticket. The bus didn't leave til after midnight, so I took it upon myself to see the sights of Bakersfield and experience the night to come. I walked dreaded and heavy through the suburbs. House after house, yard after yard, fence after fence. I passed an abandoned power station, adorned with signs of danger, cancer risks and holes cut with pliers.
The sun went down, I felt hungry, so I found a bar. They served burgers, so I ordered one. There was a band playing at the bar but it was nothing special. I passed the time by making conversation with a couple girls, Beth and her friend. I grew restless, so I asked them what the hell else was going on. They took me to another bar.
We walked downstairs into a crowded sweaty den. The band was killing it full swing. Funk, RnB, rock.. it was on. I vaguely remember leaving my skate with the bouncer on the door. Vaguely. I danced and danced. The upcoming bus departure seemed weeks away. The Frontwoman was sexy as hell. Legs, dress, bright blonde flowing hair and a powerful stance. It went and went, until I couldn't anymore. They ended on "Sunday Morning". fucking killed it. I drunkenly stumbled up the stairs to the street. "HEy! Is this yours??" Yelled a voice
I turned around to see a man holding my beautiful dark-red Alva single-tail. What a great man that bouncer was. Me, Beth and her friend jumped in her car and started driving. Beth put Tegan and Sara on the stereo. I lost my head again.
"YOU LISTEN TO TEGAN AND SARA?!!?". She started to laugh.
Nineteen came on. Fuck we almost crashed into a signpost.

    "I felt you in my legs, before I ever met you.."

    "when you lay beside me, I told youuu"

FUCCKK...

"Now we're sayin bye, BYEEEeeeEEEEE..."

How can you express the feeling, it was beyond it all. To love a song so deeply and wonderfully, and to find someone who feels the same way on the other side of the world, in Bakersfield of all places, at 1am in the front seat of a beat-up sedan. What a trip. Her friend in the backseat was silent the whole time, I don't remember talking to her at all besides at the first bar.
After the song ended we talked drunk and messy until the bus station came up.
"you don't have to go, you can stay at my place in my brother's bedroom. You just have to wake up before my Dad does."

Now, here is where a real story could have started. Unfortunately, that is not the case. I was a very nervous and panic-ridden person during this time, on top of being alone and on a time-limited travel visa. My biggest concern was over-staying and not being allowed back in the US. What I should have done was said Fuck It to the future and gone headlong into the dusty twisting road of freedom. Unbridled, unchartered, unnacountable freedom. 

Time caught up with me and I pulled the reins, deciding to take the easy choice and ride the bus.
I needed more alcohol for the ride. Unfortunately I forgot how strict Americans are about drinking.
I was harrased by the station officer-boy who sounded like a robot. The more he called me "Sir" the more I wanted to disobey him. He couldn't have been over 18. I felt angry and drunkenly hurled the 12 pack into the can.
"Stop ben.. You're making a scene!" hissed Beth, quietly in my ear.
"Enjoy the afterparty" I told the attendant, as he scuttled over and feebly attempted to fish the bag of beers out of the can.
I wish I had the guts to say Fuck It to my stupidly expensive bus ticket and take the ride home with Beth, but thats the way life goes. Full of grabbed and missed opportunites.. wished I'd could-haves, never-ending wantings.. but in the end, all you have is where you are.

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